


i want to wring my hands around your neck and kiss you

by Haruhi02



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Banter, Confessions, Funny, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Sassy, Teasing, Two POVs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-21 00:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11932437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haruhi02/pseuds/Haruhi02
Summary: "Why hello, Kamasaki-san!" Futakuchi purposely strives to be as annoying as possible. He totally deserves it after one upping Karasuno. "Fancy me a call from you, why don't ya! How's work? And the kids? Oh, wait, never mind. Still twenty and single, yeah? Sorry, forgot!"As much as all that is definitely not what Kamasaki wants to hear right now, he can't bypass the slip of fond relief that echoes in his voice. "I hate you."Futakuchi frowns for two reasons. One, wow, rude. Two, Kamasaki sounds... tired.(In which Kamasaki calls Futakuchi after a hard day at work and things escalate)





	i want to wring my hands around your neck and kiss you

Futakuchi falls into the embrace of his bed like a man welcoming his long lost lover. It's pretty romantic, if he does say so himself, and super comfortable in a way that only something that's lived with him through his meager eighteen years of life would be.  
  
Kamasaki falls into the embrace of his bed like a man welcoming a shinigami about to take his life. His exhaustion seeps into the sheets, chaining him there. He's unable to move any collective muscle fibers, and his shitty day sits on his shoulders quite uncomfortably.  
  
Futakuchi had had a _wonderful_ day. Sure the practice match with Karasuno had been exhausting, but they'd manage to win all the sets. Seeing the scowl on that bastard Tanaka's face had been a reward bestowed on Futakuchi from the heavens themselves. He doesn't even want to talk to anyone else today, if only so this cloud nine he's on doesn't dissipate anytime soon. That day had just been that much a positive multiplier.  
  
Kamasaki had had a _horrible_ day. Work had just been a series of dealing with pompous asshole after pompous asshole, barely getting anything done, and his boss yelling at him for being so incompetent. It's like Kamasaki had accidentally taken the train to hell instead of his actual workplace. Hell, dealing with that Futakuchi bastard would probably make him feel better. Maybe that math thing about multiplying two negatives could mean something here.  
  
Futakuchi is sighing happily into his pillows, getting pretty handsy with fluffing them — they'd just come out of the washer and smelled _amazing_ — when his phone rings. Groaning, he gropes for the ringing menace offhandedly until his fingers brush against the vibrations of the stupid thing. He grasps the phone and takes a peek at the caller ID.  
  
The outcome of this phone call could potentially make or break his day, and Futakuchi doesn't think much about it when he answers.  
  
"Why hello, Kamasaki-san!" Futakuchi purposely strives to be as annoying as possible. He totally deserves it after one upping Karasuno. "Fancy me a call from you, why don't ya! How's work? And the kids? Oh, wait, never mind. Still twenty and single, yeah? Sorry, forgot!"  
  
As much as all that is definitely not what Kamasaki wants to hear right now, he can't bypass the slip of fond relief that echoes in his voice. "I hate you."  
  
Futakuchi frowns for two reasons. One, wow, _rude_. Two, Kamasaki sounds... tired.  
  
Futakuchi hugs his pillow a little closer. "Was that why you called me? A confession? Don't worry, it's mutual."  
  
Kamasaki sighs into the receiver.  
  
Futakuchi is really starting to worry about the lack of manly fighting spirit missing from the phone call.  
  
"...how was school today?"  
  
Futakuchi pulls the phone away from his ear and stares at the screen like a man trying to change a diaper with his eyes.  
  
Kamasaki doesn't really think much of this question. He's a very tired man.  
  
"Fine..?" Futakuchi tries, and fails to make it sound like anything but the question _who are you and what have you done to the real Kamasaki-san?_  
  
Kamasaki's eyes are starting to get irritated from the light. He closes his eyes, and the pounding of his head behind his eyelids attempts to put on a shadow puppet show.  
  
"Heard you pulled the rug from under Karasuno today," Kamasaki grunts as he flips onto his side. "Bet it was all thanks to my tutelage."  
  
"Excuse you," Futakuchi welcomes the passage into Sass-Is-Now-Allowed Land with desperation. He isn't quite prepared for dealing with Kamasaki's concerns about his daily life quite yet, "but that was all thanks to my natural leading skills—"  
  
"'Natural leading skills', my ass. I'm going to pretend you don't go crying to Moniwa every time Kogane so much as breathes in your direction."  
  
Futakuchi is honestly offended. "I do _not—_ "  
  
"You do."  
  
"Do not."  
  
"Do too." Kamasaki is honestly starting to feel a bit better. Who knew giving Futakuchi a taste of his own medicine had secondhand benefits?  
  
"Did you just call to insult me?" Futakuchi grumbles. His cloud nine is starting to feel a lot less fluffy.  
  
"Nah, just wanted to hear your stupid annoying voice."  
  
In nothing but a moment, warmth seeps into Futakuchi's bones and the heat sparks up his cloud nine. He feels moments away from being ejected off his cloud and falling down with the downpour of rain on a parade of feelings he has no notion of addressing. He does not at all appreciate Kamasaki's sudden efficiency for storm magic.  
  
Or love spells.  
  
"Oh so now you're _flirting_ with me?" _Stop it stop it take your foot out of your mouth right now, Kenji, or I swear to god—_ "Do you hate me or do you like me, Kamasaki-san? Make up your mind."  
  
Kamasaki's bed is becoming a lot more comfortable under his back. The torque of today's exhaustions seems to have finally changed directions for the better. Maybe these mathematicians were really right about two negatives making a positive thing. Even his pillow is starting to feel like a fluffy cloud or something.  
  
He is so gunning this shitshow right into Happyville.  
  
"What if I am?" Kamasaki can feel Futakuchi sputtering on the other side. This is the best idea he's had in months. "Maybe I'm into tsunderes or something."  
  
"I—! I'm not a fucking _tsundere_!" Futakuchi's face could probably fry an egg to perfection right about now. He has no idea why he's suddenly getting a _confession_ from _Kamasaki-san_ via _phone call_ , but he is _so_ not prepared for it.  
  
"Could've fooled me." Wow, is this feeling of elation after catching someone off guard what Futakuchi feels _all_ the time? Kamasaki's got to try this sass business more often. "I always thought you were just being an asshole for the sake of being an asshole. But then one day I was like, 'what if this is how he shows affection? The same way a five-year-old pulls his crush’s pigtails?' Something like that."  
  
"W....what." Futakuchi's mind... explodes. Futakuchi.exe has crashed. Futakuchi is not responding.  
  
Kamasaki feels so proud of himself right now. It's like he's upgraded into Kamasaki.2. He's really liking all these new updates. "Anyway, I'm real tired. Gonna go catch some  
Z's so I can get up for work tomorrow. You should probably sleep, too."  
  
"What?" What the hell. _What the hell._ Why is Kamasaki-san ending the call here of all places? What is this madness? What fresh hell is this? _What the hell?_  
  
Kamasaki is about to finish off this pie with the ultimate cherry. "Oh yeah, one last thing before I go though."  
  
One thing? Just one thing? Futakuchi has a million questions and no answers to this mind-shattering revelation that Kamasaki-san like him back, and Kamasaki-san just has one thing to say after casually confessing like he's just dusted off a piece of lint of his shoulder.  
  
All Futakuchi manages to say is, " _What?_ "  
  
"Senpai finally noticed you."  
  
Kamasaki hangs up. Power play of the century, royally served.  
  
Futakuchi honestly cannot believe his bed hasn't developed sentience yet to tell him this is all just a dream.  
  
_Now that is how you pull off a confession,_ Kamasaki thinks, as he grins at his reflection on his phone screen. This day isn't half bad, after all.  
  
  
_That is so not how you pull off a confession_ , Futakuchi thinks, as he gapes at his reflection on his phone screen. This day is not as good as a day as he'd initially thought, after all.


End file.
